The Obstacle Is the Way: How to Face Relationship Challenges with Grit and Grace
Sometimes love is tested in the least romantic ways.
A move you thought would be exciting turns into weeks of exhaustion.
A child’s unexpected illness sends fear running through your veins.
Family members need you.
Business deadlines loom.
And the list keeps growing.
Even the most healthy relationship can feel the weight of those moments. Even seasons filled with love and commitment can still bring unexpected hurdles that put a strain on a relationship. For Jaclyn, watching the first quarter of the year fill with health scares, a major home move, constant company, and work pressures was like standing in the middle of a storm—wondering if she and Sam could keep their footing.
But they did.
Not because everything went smoothly (it didn’t), but because they learned that in order to face challenges well, you have to meet them together—with equal parts grit and grace.
How To Face Relationship Challenges
Jaclyn believes it’s important to remember that the couples who last aren’t the ones who avoid storms. They’re the ones who find a way to hold hands through them. Every couple will face common relationship problems—financial strain, poor communication, illness, parenting differences, or simply seasons of feeling disconnected.
What matters most is the choice you make in the middle of it: Will we turn toward each other, or away?
How To Fix Relationship Problems
Over the years, Jaclyn and Sam have stumbled, gotten back up, and learned a lot about what it takes to weather hard seasons. These are some of the ways they’ve protected their marriage, even when life felt overwhelming.
Tip 1: Keep the Conversation Open and Honest
Real connection can’t grow without open communication. Share the truth of what you’re feeling, even if it’s messy. Vulnerability can be uncomfortable, but it’s the bridge that keeps you from drifting apart.
And if you’ve ever found yourself shrinking your truth because you’re afraid of how it might be received, you might love this reflection on Letting Go Of The Need for Approval. It’s a gentle guide back to your own voice—one that your relationship needs to hear.
Tip 2: Call Out Poor Communication Gently
If you notice you’re speaking past each other—or avoiding talking altogether—don’t ignore it. Address poor communication early. Sometimes this means sitting down with a couples therapist who can help you both speak and listen in new ways.
Tip 3: Rebuild Trust Through the Little Things
After breaches of trust, repair doesn’t happen overnight. It’s the small, daily follow-throughs—showing up when you say you will—that slowly rebuild trust and make you feel safe with each other again.
Tip 4: Make Space for Quality Time
In the busiest seasons, time together can feel like the first thing to go. But spend quality time—even if it’s just coffee together before the day starts. Date nights don’t have to be elaborate; they just have to be intentional.
Tip 5: Guard Your Mental Health
When you’re running on fumes, every tiny annoyance feels bigger. Caring for your mental health—through rest, prayer, journaling, exercise—helps you show up with patience and love.
Tip 6: Maintain Intimacy Beyond the Physical
A healthy relationship isn’t just about passion; it’s also about tenderness. Send a kind text. Ask about their day. Laugh together. These moments maintain intimacy when life feels heavy.
When we maintain intimacy, we’re not just preserving closeness—we’re also protecting the energetic exchange that keeps a healthy relationship alive.
If you’ve ever noticed how certain people make you feel more at peace while others leave you drained, you’ll love this reflection on How Relationships are Frequency Exchanges. It’s a beautiful reminder that the energy you bring into your relationship matters just as much as the words you speak.
How To Bring Up Problems In A Relationship
Jaclyn has learned that the hardest talks can become the most healing—if you start them with love.
Tip 1: Choose the Right Timing
Don’t bring up issues in your relationship in the middle of chaos. Wait for a quiet moment when you can both be present.
Tip 2: Speak from Your Heart, Not Your Hurt
Lead with “I” statements. Instead of “You always…” try “I feel…” This keeps the conversation open and honest rather than defensive.
If you need help keeping your mind in a space that supports connection instead of conflict, this guide to cultivating positive thinking offers small, doable shifts that can change the tone of your most important conversations.
Tip 3: Stay Curious About Their Perspective
Ask questions to understand. Curiosity can melt walls that defensiveness builds.
Tip 4: End With a Shared Next Step
Decide together on a small action—whether it’s scheduling date nights, setting new boundaries, or seeking help for trust issues—that will help you both move forward.
Final Thought: Thank You
There’s a quiet kind of bravery in loving someone when life feels too full.
It’s choosing grace when your partner is tired and short-tempered.
It’s finding ways to laugh when you both feel stretched thin.
It’s remembering that even the most common relationship problems can be a doorway to deeper connection—if you walk through them hand in hand.
Jaclyn and Sam don’t believe love survives because you never fight, never struggle, or never fail. They believe it survives because you keep coming back to the table. You keep choosing each other. You keep doing the work to rebuild trust, maintain intimacy, and protect your connection—again and again.
So to anyone in the middle of a storm right now: You’re not alone. This season will pass. And if you meet it with both grit and grace, you might just find your love stronger than ever.
Live on purpose. Live on frequency.
Ien Araneta - editor of The Freq Show & The Beckon Times
