The Blessing Behind the Breakdown: How to Find Gratitude When Everything Feels Like It’s Falling Apart
What if breakdowns aren’t breakdowns at all—but soul invitations in disguise?
That was the question quietly threading through Jaclyn Steele Thurmond’s heart after one of “those days.” A day when it all went wrong, again. When things didn’t just go sideways—they piled up, one challenge after another. Financial hits. Delayed projects. Broken things. Triggers from the past. Hormones surging. Memories surfacing.
But underneath the chaos, something else was waiting: a strange and sacred kind of peace.
Because this time, the story didn’t end with overwhelm.
It ended with deep gratitude.
And the awareness that everything—even the hard stuff—is happening for us, not to us.
Let’s talk about what it means to hold that kind of perspective.
How to Find Gratitude When Everything Feels Like It’s Falling Apart
This wasn’t a story of tragedy. It was the story of a Tuesday.
But for Jaclyn and her husband Sam, it was also a microcosm of what it means to stay rooted when life starts throwing punches.
That day, it started with texts from tenants—one having issues with an HOA, another needing to break their lease. Then came news that their car, which had already racked up $4,500 in repairs just last month, now needed an additional $2,000 fix. As if that wasn’t enough, a forgotten property tax bill arrived—another $4,500 due immediately.
Oh, and the real estate flip they were supposed to close on in a few days? Delayed. Again.
It wasn’t a catastrophe.
But it was a collection of potentially triggering moments that could’ve easily unraveled the calm they’d worked so hard to cultivate.
And that’s the point.
Most of life’s unraveling doesn’t happen in giant waves—it happens in small, sharp stings.
But if we’re present, those stings become signals.
“Everything Is Happening For You, Not To You”
This phrase is easy to say when life is going well. But it takes courage to believe it when the bills stack up, when the car breaks down, when the old fear whispers, “Here we go again.”
Still, in that moment, Jaclyn took a breath.
And she remembered last year.
She remembered the summer of 2024—when they were carrying $11,000/month in overhead while waiting for their luxury property, Villa Secreta, to sell. When they had just a few hundred dollars left in savings and were holding their breath with every passing day.
This time, they weren’t on the brink.
This time, they had the money to pay the bills.
This time, there was space. Not just in their finances—but in their mindset.
It was in that gap, that pause, that she realized something profound: “This is not a breakdown. This is a breakthrough.”
Because they weren’t just surviving the moment.
They were meeting it with gratitude.
Looking for more insight on mindset? You might find comfort in this post: The Power to Change: Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be
A Trigger Is a Teacher in Disguise
As Jaclyn reflected, it wasn’t just about this moment. It was about how it echoed other moments—particularly last summer’s financial pressure cooker.
There’s a term for this emotional hangover: somatic memory. When our body reacts to today’s stress with the weight of yesterday’s fear.
The bills they received now weren’t catastrophic. But they reminded her of a time when they were.
And that’s why the tension arrived.
But here’s where the shift happened: Instead of spiraling, they named it. Instead of numbing, they chose to notice. Instead of blaming, they chose to bless.
That kind of nervous system recovery? That’s not accidental.
That’s the fruit of inner work.
What It Means to Truly Trust the Process
Sam said it beautifully: “Gratitude in the moment is the salve on the burn.”
They weren’t pretending everything was perfect. They weren’t bypassing the stress.
They were acknowledging it—and trusting that it was part of something better unfolding.
That trust didn’t always come easy.
As Sam admitted, his old tendency was to catastrophize. If a car repair was too expensive, he’d declare they’d sell it and never buy another. But now, with more life lived and more perspective earned, he sees those moments differently.
They’re not punishments.
They’re training grounds.
If you need help cultivating more optimism, you’ll love this reflection: How to Cultivate Positive Thinking
Why Resilience Is Built in the Trenches
One of Jaclyn’s favorite metaphors comes from Wonder Woman.
In it, Diana’s aunt secretly trains her as a warrior, despite her mother’s fear that too much strength would attract danger. But when the truth becomes clear, the mother doesn’t pull back—she doubles down. “Train her five times harder. Train her ten times harder.”
That’s what life does when we carry big dreams.
It trains us ten times harder.
And it’s not to break us down. It’s to build us into who we’re becoming.
Every inconvenience, every delay, every frustrating “why is this happening again?” is part of the training.
That shift in perspective? It’s everything.
If you’re moving through one of these “training seasons,” you may resonate with this: Letting Go Of The Need For Approval
How Gratitude Works When Life Feels Hard
Gratitude isn’t just for when the flip closes, or when your baby sleeps through the night, or when you find the perfect couch.
Gratitude is for the bills.
For the broken alternator.
For the delayed closing.
Because those moments reveal who we are—and who we’re becoming.
Jaclyn shared something she’d read from Louise Hay: “Be grateful for your bills. They show that someone trusts you to pay them.”
It’s a radical reframe. But it’s one that re-centers power.
Suddenly, that expense isn’t an attack—it’s a sign of capability. Of maturity. Of responsibility. Of privilege.
Even when the numbers are daunting.
Even when you don’t want to spend that money.
Especially then.
What Gratitude During Hard Times Actually Looks Like
Here’s what gratitude looked like that day:
Taking a breath instead of yelling.
Pausing before reacting.
Naming the fear, but not letting it drive.
Choosing words carefully.
High-fiving each other in the kitchen when they could’ve picked a fight.
It didn’t mean pretending everything was okay.
It meant believing they would be.
That’s a frequency shift.
That’s emotional resilience.
That’s a soul choosing truth over fear.
Tips for Practicing Gratitude When Life Feels Like Too Much
Here are some of the grounding tools Jaclyn and Sam used—and still use—to shift their energy when breakdowns arrive:
1. Acknowledge What Feels Hard
Don’t skip the step of naming what’s real. Ignoring the struggle won’t make it disappear. But naming it with compassion creates space to meet it with strength.
2. Remember a Time You Overcame Something Similar
Let your past resilience be proof. You’ve done hard things before. And look at you now—you’re still here. Stronger. Wiser.
3. Anchor Into Your Body
When stress spikes, the body needs help returning to calm. Try slow breathing, a short walk, or stretching. Your nervous system deserves love too.
4. Practice Gratitude in Real Time
Try this: “I’m grateful for this bill because I have the money to pay it.” “I’m grateful for this repair because it keeps me safe.” It may feel silly at first—but it rewires your brain toward trust.
5. Don’t Bypass Your Feelings—Move Through Them
It’s okay to cry. To rage. To grieve. Let it move through. Then let it move on.
6. Say It Out Loud
Jaclyn and Sam say it often to each other: “We’ve got this.” “It’s happening for us.” “This is training.” Words hold energy. Use them intentionally.
7. Ask: What’s the Lesson Here?
Even if it’s not clear yet, trust that one day it will be. And in the meantime, know that this moment is not the end.
If you want more reflection on what comes next, explore this piece: What to Do After Achieving a Goal
Final Thought
Dear one, if you’re in the middle of what feels like a breakdown—pause.
Take a deep breath.
And know this isn’t the end of your story.
Jaclyn and Sam are living proof that the hard moments are not detours from your path—they are your path. They are the training ground for your next level. They are the fire that refines the gold.
What’s breaking down today might just be clearing space for what’s breaking through tomorrow.
So wherever you are—frazzled, confused, triggered, exhausted—may you find a quiet place to remember:
You’ve got this.
You’re being trained, not punished.
And there’s so much beauty waiting for you on the other side.
Live on purpose. Live on frequency.
Ien Araneta - editor of The Freq Show & The Beckon Times
