The Frequency of Self-Sabotage: Why Growth Feels Unsafe (and How to Move Through It)
There’s this moment—right before the leap—where everything inside you clenches. You’re so close to something new, something expansive, something aligned... and yet, suddenly, you want to run. You procrastinate. You distract. You pick a fight. You numb. You shrink.
Why?
Because growth, even the beautiful kind, can feel deeply unsafe.
That’s exactly what Jaclyn Steele Thurmond unpacks in this heartfelt solo episode of The Freq Show. And whew, it hits home.
Navigating Self-Sabotage: Understanding the Nervous System's Response to Growth
Growth doesn’t just ask you to learn new things—it asks you to become someone new. And the nervous system? It often throws on the brakes when change is coming, even if it’s change you want. That’s not weakness. That’s biology. That’s the body trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how.
In this episode, Jaclyn gently reminds us that self-sabotage isn’t the enemy. It’s a signal. A breadcrumb. A beautiful red flag from your body saying, “Hey, this feels unfamiliar. Are we really safe here?”
But here’s the thing: feeling unsafe doesn’t always mean we are unsafe.
Sometimes, the discomfort is actually expansion in disguise.
If this resonates, you’ll also love Master Your Mind: Unlocking the Power of Thought to Shape Your Life, which breaks down the daily shifts that support nervous system regulation and mindset alignment.
Growth Can Trigger Old Programming—And That’s Normal
In this episode, Jaclyn vulnerably shares how she’s been navigating major shifts in her own life and business. What struck her most? Even with all her tools, all her practices, her nervous system still flared up in response to big moves.
And guess what? That’s completely normal.
We’ve all internalized stories about what’s “safe,” what’s “smart,” what’s “too much.” Maybe it came from a parent, a teacher, a boss, or just the culture around us. But those old scripts don’t always match our present-day desires.
Growth doesn’t just bring up fear—it brings up grief. Grief for the old version of us that feels like it’s slipping away. Grief for the safety we once found in smaller containers.
If you’ve felt this too, you might want to revisit Comfort in Times of Chaos, another episode that helps you ground yourself when the world—or your inner world—feels shaky.
Steps to Move Through Self-Sabotage
So what do you do when you catch yourself spiraling or pulling back?
Jaclyn offers a few loving tools that have helped her (and so many others in the Beckon and Freq communities):
Name What’s Happening—Without Judgment
When you notice resistance kicking in, say it out loud.
“Oh hey, I’m resisting this because it feels new.”
This pulls the reaction out of the subconscious and into awareness—where it can soften.Do Something Soothing
This is where frequency comes in. Put your hand on your heart. Take three slow breaths. Step outside for a sunshine break.
We train our nervous system that expansion can feel safe, even sweet.Journal with Curiosity
Jaclyn suggests asking:What am I afraid will happen if this works out?
What story am I still believing that says I’m not ready?
What proof do I already have that I’m growing?
If you’re not already using The Freq App, this is a great time to start. The daily energetic tuning is like brushing your energetic teeth—gentle, intentional, and SO needed.
Self-Sabotage Isn’t the Problem—Disconnection Is
Jaclyn drops a truth-bomb in this episode that bears repeating:
“You don’t need to ‘fix’ yourself. You need to reconnect.”
So many of us get stuck thinking we need to hack, hustle, or discipline our way through resistance. But what if you just listened to it instead? What if that internal friction was an invitation to connect—to slow down, breathe, and meet yourself where you are?
This is also why she recommends pairing mindset work with body work. Breath. Movement. Laughter. Pleasure. It all matters. Because your nervous system isn’t a problem—it’s your partner.
If this resonates, circle back to The Belief Blueprint: How to Rewire Your Mind for Wild Success, a beautiful companion episode to this one.
Final Thought: You’re Not Broken. You’re Becoming.
If you take anything away from this episode, let it be this:
You are not broken for feeling scared, for shrinking back, for hesitating at the edge of your expansion.
You are becoming.
And becoming is tender.
Becoming is holy.
Jaclyn’s voice in this episode is like a hand on your back—reassuring you that you’re safe to grow. That it’s okay to wobble. That the version of you you’re becoming? She’s already inside you. She’s just waiting for a little space.
“You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to be loving—with yourself.”
And maybe that’s the most powerful frequency of all.
Live on purpose. Live on frequency.
Ien Araneta - editor of The Freq Show & The Beckon Times
