We’ve all been there. Whether it's a sharp comment on social media, a disapproving glance from a client, or an unexpected critique from someone we respect—receiving negative feedback stings. But what if the way we respond to negative feedback matters more than the feedback itself? What if it could actually be a tool for personal and professional development? Today, we’re diving into a practical guide for how to deal with negative feedback and transform it into an opportunity for growth.

How to Deal With Negative Feedback

This post is for anyone who’s ever walked away from a conversation or email replaying every word in their head. We’ll explore why negative feedback is more common than you think, how it differs from positive feedback, and how it can be reframed as a stepping stone to becoming your next, best self. By the end, you’ll have tangible tips for how to respond to negative feedback with grace, groundedness, and even gratitude.

What Is Negative Feedback

Negative feedback refers to any comment or critique that highlights what someone perceives as a mistake, shortcoming, or area for improvement. Unlike positive feedback, which reinforces what’s working, negative feedback shines a light on what isn’t. And while it can often feel harsh or even personal, it doesn’t have to be destructive.

What makes negative feedback feel so intense is how it affects our nervous systems. It can trigger our fight-or-flight response, leading to defensiveness, shutdown, or self-doubt. But here’s the key: feedback is an opportunity to pause, reflect, and grow—if we allow it to be.

Why Is Negative Feedback More Common

Let’s be honest: in a world flooded with reviews, comments, and quick takes, people are quicker than ever to share critiques. Negative feedback is more common for a few reasons:

People often notice what’s "wrong" more than what’s right.
Constructive feedback isn’t always taught or modeled well.
In fast-paced work or online environments, kindness and context can be lost.

But here’s the silver lining: because it’s so prevalent, we get frequent opportunities to build our resilience and adopt a growth mindset.

How Can Feedback Help You Improve

Both positive and negative feedback can be powerful tools when viewed through the right lens. Here's how:

1. It reveals blind spots

We all have habits, patterns, or behaviors we can’t see ourselves. Feedback—especially when it’s well-intentioned (the key phrase here is “well-intentioned)—can help us grow in ways we didn’t know we needed.

2. It sharpens your skills

Whether you’re an artist, entrepreneur, teacher, or team leader, feedback pushes you to refine your craft. Consider it a free performance audit if it’s coming from someone you admire and respect.

3. It builds emotional intelligence

Your ability to handle negative feedback without spiraling is a sign of maturity. Learning to pause, process, and respond with clarity is an act of personal growth.

4. It fuels transformation

Feedback reminds us that we’re not fixed beings. We can shift, evolve, and rise. That’s the magic of the human experience.

How To Handle Negative Feedback

So how do you actually do it? These tips are for when negative feedback is given from someone you admire and respect. If it’s a troll on the internet or a jealous colleague or a friend you just put up a boundary with… just let it go and move on. We are only referring to negative feedback here that is given with good intentions. Here are some tips to help you turn feedback into fuel:

1. Pause Before Reacting

Take a breath. Resist the urge to react right away. Give yourself space to calm your nervous system and step out of defensiveness.

2. Look for the Lesson

What’s the takeaway? Even if the feedback was poorly delivered, is there a grain of truth that can help you improve? Keep in mind NO ONE ON THIS PLANET is perfect. Don’t hold yourself to a standard no one can attain. Leave room for an abundance of grace and curiosity around yourself and you will find that it expands your mind and will serve you well.

3. Ask Clarifying Questions

If the feedback feels vague or confusing, gently ask for more details. This shows you’re open and engaged in your own personal and professional development.

4. Thank the Messenger

Even if it’s hard to swallow, expressing gratitude for feedback disarms tension and shows grace. Plus, it reinforces your ability to adopt a growth mindset. However, if the messenger is not someone you admire or respect, you can let their feedback roll off your shoulder.

5. Don’t Let It Define You

Feedback is data, not identity. One person’s opinion does not define your worth or your potential.

6. Integrate, Don’t Obsess

Learn from it, implement what’s useful, and move on. Overanalyzing feedback can lead to self-doubt. Growth is in the doing, not the dwelling.

If you want to take this a step further, try combining these tools with practices like journaling, grounding techniques, or even gratitude. In fact, practicing gratitude—even in moments of criticism—can be one of the most transformative mindset shifts. For more on that, read how gratitude changes everything.

When we start to see feedback not as an attack but as a mirror, something magical happens: we grow. We rise. And we show up as truer, braver versions of ourselves.

Let your next piece of feedback be a stepping stone—not a stumbling block.

Live on Purpose, Live on Frequency,

Jaclyn Steele Thurmond

How to Deal with Negative Feedback